David Stern Lives

STERN LIVES GIF

If the Heat had won last night, this would’ve made more sense,,but I made the above GIF instead of doing meaningful stuff, so…. here you go. Oh, and I hate David Stern. Yes, he’s no longer the NBA Commissioner… or at least, that’s what he wants you to think. I still believe he’s pulling the strings behind the scenes – either by fixing the Draft again for the Cavs so he can finally get that Cleveland/Miami rivalry off the ground, or getting the refs to call a foul on any Spur brazen enough to scowl at his beloved pet & meal ticket “King” James during these NBA Finals.  I believe he swung the league to favor Jordan, then Kobe, and now LeBron – because they are his stars, and he wants to set the narrative to the most lucrative setting possible, and that doesn’t happen when teams are allowed to dictate the outcome of the NBA.

He’s always given off the vibe he could use a good ass-kicking at the mitts of a bubblegum-less Roddy Rowdy Piper, so I decided to do this mashup of his ugly mug & stills from the classic 80′s horror flick “THEY LIVE”. So, you’re welcome, I think?

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Snoop Dogg Can Do No Wrong

 

Can you imagine what it must be like to hang with him for a day? ‘m getting a contact high just by thinking about it.

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Donald Sterling As Master Shake From Aqua Teen Hunger Force

For anybody who’s seen this show: you gotta admit, the resemblance is UNCANNY.

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Some YouTube Spring Cleaning!

Check these out if you haven’t seen them yet.

DMX Llama!

I’m the Daddy! I’m Grown! 

And finally, I CAN’T EVEN!

 

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This Obliterated The Spanish Announce Table That Was My Heart: Why Wrestling Matters

“Pro wrestling is for kids.” they say.

Damn right.

The WWE does an amazing job helping making sick childrens’ dreams come true, and this recounting of the final days of “Connor The Crusher” illustrates that perfectly, and also hits you right in the feels with a sledgehammer.

My kid will grow up watching wrestling. It’ll be a great bonding experience, as I LOVED wrestling as a kid – even if I had to sneak down ninja-style from my bedroom to watch it, because my mom was horrified by it and thought it would rot my brain. But The Macho Man Randy Savage was my idol, and whenever my brothers and I would tear the cushions off the couch and beat the ever-loving shit out of each other, I’d alway climb up on the armrest, point to the sky with both arms, and then attempt the flying elbow.

Yeah, it was stupid and dangerous – we knew that – but it WAS FUN. That’s all wrestling is. Big stupid fun that helps you escape reality for a few fleeting moments. And kids, especially terminally ill ones – need that.

These guys are worth supporting publicly.  What they do in and out of the ring is amazingly difficult and challenging. There’s no shame in what they do.

Quite the opposite.

RIP Connor.

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NBA Benches React To Adam Silver Banning Donald Sterling

Perfecto.

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Tiny Hamsters Eating Tiny Burritos – Episode 1


Welp, it’s all downhill from here, folks. We’ve reached the mountaintop.

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The Voice Of Winnie The Pooh Reads Darth Vader’s Lines From Star Wars

Gregors is gonna lose it over this.

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Everything Wrong With “The Goonies” In 8 Minutes Or Less

“The British were not hanging around the Pacific Northwest in the 1600′s.”

They committed a lot of movie sins in this one, but it’s still an amazing part of my childhood.

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It Was Worse Than Getting Involved In A Land War In Asia

Calvin ignoranceAll credit goes to the amazing Bill Watterson.

After foolishly stoking the coals on Facebook and bringing up the anti-vaccination debate, only to be engaged by people who 1) can’t even put a proper sentence together, let alone a cohesive argument, and/or 2) think EVERY damn thing is a government conspiracy – I’m just going to leave this here.

oh, and this.

There is no legitimate scientific controversy about whether or not vaccines are safe.  The original study that started us down this insane path by linking the MMR vaccine to autism has been retracted outright. The evidence against administering the MMR vaccine to healthy individuals is utterly without merit.

But people continue to make the utterly baffling choice to refuse it anyway.  Dispiriting new information seems to indicate that they are immune to persuasion when confronted with facts inconvenient to their worldview. Indeed, writers at prominent online media outlets chide us for “demeaning” vaccine-deniers, saying to do so “defies explanation.”

The explanation is simple, and is as accessible as the nightly news. Vaccine-deniers are responsible to the resurgence of once-eliminated illnesses. Their movement is responsible for sickening people. They are to blame for the word “outbreak” appearing in headlines from coast to coast.

The anti-vaccine crowd may think they’re only making a decision for their own family. In fact, they’re threatening to make the rest of us sick. Refusing to vaccinate your children means you are contributing to a worsening public health crisis. There is no denying it, and there is no point in sugar-coating it.

But no,  anti-vaxxers – your kids are the only ones who matter, right?

 

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Breaking Bad Remix (Seasons 1&2)

A clink to Billy Finnegan for bringing this to my attention. Just like Blue, it’s very well made.

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Two Awesome Things: The Guardians Of The Galaxy Trailer & Mac Lethal’s “Alphabet Insanity”

Gonna be good day.

And here’s the Guardians trailer mashed up with the Parks & Rec theme, because “Bert Macklin, FBI!”

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This Is Why You’re Single, Dumbass. Enjoy Your Lonely Valentine’s Day.

Y’all can suck it.

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Louis CK’s “Of Course, But Maybe” Bit

If you’ve never seen or heard it, watch this RIGHT now.

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I Can’t Wait To Do This With My Kid & Mandy Patinkin

You know, if I ever meet him. Here’s hoping.

Mandy

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Happy New Year, Everybody.

Oh look! The world still sucks. Proof:

Heard a rumour the girl makes over $576K via webhits, playing up her dumb blonde persona. Sitting at home, talking nonsense to a webcam. She has millions of followers. Yep. We’re doomed.

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Who’s That Weirdo In The Hat Asking Ron Burgundy A Question At His Emerson Press Conference? [VIDEO]

Oh, it’s me. Wow, I have gotten pudgy.

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I Worry Becoming One Of These “Dad-Holes” Is My Destiny

NSFW. Hilarious.

These need more views.

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It’s Movember! Please Donate To Team Tower Rangers!

IMG_9304

So yeah, Stevie, me & a bunch of buddies have hopped on the Movember Mustache Ride (wait… there’s gotta be a better way to phrase that.) If you could look deep into your soul (and pockets) and help us raise money for Men’s Health research, we’d really appreciate it. Thanks. To donate and/or check out all the other team members and their awful awful mustaches, click here!

Oh, and Amanda HATES it, naturally.

 

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How It Felt Watching That Rockets/Celtics Game Last Night & The C’s Chances This Year

That was an ass-whuppin’ by Houston – no question – and more are in store. Ainge and Stevens can dispute it all they want, but this team is already in full tank mode.

While I don’t like it, I can understand tanking for THIS class coming up. Jabari Parker, Marcus Smart, Joel Embiid and the biggest prize of all: Andrew Wiggins. If we suck long and hard enough, we’ll be GUARANTEED at least one of those players. But you have to be the worst team in the league, which I think we are, without Rondo.

Sidenote: DON’T TRADE RONDO. This team would be TEN times better if they had him on the floor right now. We’d be talking about sneaking into the playoffs with him healthy. The talented parts (Jeff Green, Olynyk, Vitor, Sullinger…) are there, but there’s nobody to get them the ball. Avery spends way too much energy trying to get the ball up the floor, and he should never be allowed to play the point. EVER. He’s terrible at it. He needs to be guarding 2′s and scoring 1′s, and playing without the ball in his hands. Rondo’s the steak here, the rest of them are all side-dishes.

Oh, and trade Humphries already. That shit’s EMBARRASSING. Whenever I look at our roster, and I see his name there, it’s like seeing your mom’s vibrator sitting on her nightstand because she forgot to put it away.

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I’d Kill To Have This Feeling Again

Walking on crunchy ice? SO GOOD.

Also, that baby’s adorable.

(Man, I’m soft.)

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David Hasselhoff Sings The ‘Fresh Prince’ Theme

Well, my day can only get worse from here on out.

 

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Why Haven’t I Seen Any Of Pete Holmes’ Batman Skits Before?

These are amazing. (Pete Holmes is the guy who’s getting a show after Conan on TBS.) This first one is NSFW, but the funniest of the bunch.

 

 

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There Will Be NO Pictures Of Piss Sticks Or Ultrasounds!

Announcement

Yep. Pregnant.

We posted it on Facebook a few weeks ago, but in case you missed the announcement, here it is.  Our first collaborative effort has a tentative release date of March 8th.

I’m not going to go soft on you; we know and are fully aware people have babies all the time, and we’re NOT going to act like we’re the first couple ever to do it and rub your faces in our exuberant glee. That’s annoying. We ain’t those kinda folks.

There will be no ultrasound pictures posted here or on Facebook. That’s gross and weird.

No positive pregnancy tests, no “me holding her swollen naked pregger belly while we gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes” photoshoots. That’s weird and gross and stupid.

I pretty much summed up my feelings on all of this during a “That Guy” rant a few weeks ago on the show. Listen to it here.

So yeah, it’s happening. We’re very excited, Amanda for obvious reasons… and well, I’m jazzed I’ll finally have someone to play video games with! Also, it means I’ll get to do stuff like this:

If it’s mine, then yeah, poops are going to be the highlight of the day, too.

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The Most Epic Best Men Ever Put Together One Hell Of A Music Video

*furiously taking notes*

Comin’ for you, Gregors.

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I Mean, I’m Not DEAD: Kate Upton’s Slo-Mo Boobs Are Glorious

How my internal argument went the first time I was watching this video went something like this:

“Wow.”

“I should totally post this.”

“But you’re married now, this is rather immature and it’ll seem creepy.”

 “Did YOU SEE those boobs?!”

“Yeah, but c’mon. It’s a little below you, isn’t it? What are we, Barstool?”

“No, because everything will be spelled correctly. It’s definitely worth sharing.”

“Yeah I guess. Just don’t be gross.”

“*MOTORBOAT SOUND*” 

 

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What I’m Listening To THIS WEEK: 3rd Week Of September

New stuff from Cold War Kids, Beck, Grouplove & Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, plus great jams from Black Joe Lewis, Surfer Blood & others!

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What I’m Listening To: 2nd Week Of September

I forgot to post this last week (again) but here it is! New Arcade Fire, Pixies and Frightened Rabbit, plus great tunes from Lorde, Titus Andronicus, Best Coast & many more!

 

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The Many Emotions Of Ron Swanson Supercut

I will always – ALWAYS – post Ron Swanson stuff as soon as I’m made aware of it. Sorry I’m not sorry.

 

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Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball Video – Tom Brady Edition

Enjoy the nightmares, indeed.

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Am I Crazy, Or Is This 4-Year-Old Kid INSANELY Talented?

I know he’s just making nonsense noises with his mouth, to mimic rapping, but… I kinda jammed out to this for a bit. The crazy part is that he’s ACTUALLY laying down those beats on a drum pad/keyboard thing… and they’re REALLY GOOD.

Or am I nuts? Maybe the bar has been lowered SO DAMN LOW by the crap that’s out there for hip-hop right now, but this sounded good to me. Here’s another one where you can definitely see him play the instruments:

 

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How NOT To Respond To Your Band’s Fans On Twitter: ‘Deer Tick’ Needs To Get Over Themselves

hipster_douchebags

Let me start by saying that I had a blast at this weekend’s edition of Boston Calling, the awesome music festival down on Boston’s City Hall Plaza. I (and a lot of fellow, like-minded music fans) got to see a ton of great bands, like Local Natives, Vampire Weekend, and Passion Pit over two days, and the people who put on the festival do an AMAZING job.

It’s too bad one of the bands who “performed” took the opportunity to shit on their fans and an opportunity to connect with the other people in the crowd. Then got all pissy when I voiced my displeasure on twitter.

I showed up early on Saturday, specifically for Deer Tick. I WAS a big fan of the band. Some great songs, and some very listenable albums are out there. They’ve got a new one dropping in a few weeks, appropriately called Negativity.

Well, they get up on stage, and the lead singer – who’s really the songwriter/impetus behind the whole band; a guy named John McCauley, from Providence – lackadaisically just mumbles into the microphone, quote “Uh… we’re just gonna play the new album front to back, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Oh. Well, fuck you too then, pal.

He proceeded to do as promised, and wasted an hour of festival exposure playing an album NO ONE HAS HEARD YET OR IS FAMILIAR WITH. It doesn’t come out for another 2 weeks – but I can tell you, after listening to this performance, it sucks and it needs a lot of work. It’s slow, and meandering, and BORING. Nothing like his uptempo stuff, and nowhere near as good of a record as War Elephant or even Divine Providence, which he totally should’ve played.

Look, everyone hates it when a band you paid to see plays new stuff at a concert (after all, we all wanna hear the hits), but it’s expected that if they have a new album out, you’re GOING to hear one or two songs from the new record. That’s understandable. But to play a FULL album full of ballads? At a festival? Where a ton of people aren’t familiar with you, and you have a chance to bring a TON of people onto your bandwagon if you rock some new faces out in that crowd? You don’t do it.

It was a dismal set, and when the nicest thing people can say about it was how it was “neat” you brought one-hit-wonder Vanessa Carlton on-stage with you for a song because you’re dating her, it’s a bad sign.

You play your good, fast, familiar stuff at a festival. That’s Music Promotion 101. You do stuff like Matt & Kim did during the first Boston Calling session back in May:

Which apparently this chump never took.

It becomes even more apparent when you see how he responded to me on Twitter. Let’s do a tweet-by-tweet account, shall we?

This is taken during their first song, and before he had addressed the crowd. I was still excited to see them at this point.

Yup, this is right after the third song, when I realized he wasn’t kidding about playing the new album.

I was really pissed I’d hurried down to see them. They were just lazily playing the songs, going through the motions, not interacting with the crowd, which had dwindled considerably by that point.

I think that’s the one that set whoever handles their Twitter off, because soon after:

Well, that’s very scenester douchebag of him, isn’t it? Not “Sorry you didn’t like it” or offering some sort of explanation or reasoning. He pretty much made a wanking motion at me through the internet. Turns out this guy has a history of doing stuff like this and might be a little sensitive when it comes to criticism. Sounds to me like someone’s got a MIGHTY big opinion of himself, don’t it? Oh, and it gets worse after I fired back.

… and let’s be clear: They are NOT a successful band. Yeah, you can sell out clubs in Providence. So could Buddy Cianci’s hairpiece. It’s not that hard. This guy has been getting a little bit of buzz from the Pitchfork crowd and all of a sudden he thinks he’s the fucking Rolling Stones. You’re not there pal, and with an attitude like this, you’ll NEVER get there. Maybe you say you want it that way, in typical hipster fashion. Fine. I hope I can help oblige.

Will do, bucko. Hope you enjoy being less relevant and successful than your has-been girlfriend.

Moral of this story: DON’T BE A DICK TO FANS. Or else you’ll end up with a career worse than Vanessa Carlton.

 

 

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2013 NFL Predictions

Hey, I didn’t do so bad last year! I nailed all but one team in the conference title games, and I called Doug Martin having a big year. With that said, let’s just go ahead and ignore my prediction of the Bills making the playoffs last year, ok?

xRMSc2I

Onto the fearless picks!

SUPER BOWL CHAMPION – Patriots (12-4) Over Lions (11-5)
AFC East Champs - Patriots (12-4)
AFC North Champs - Bengals (11-5)
AFC South Champs - Texans (13-3)
AFC West Champs  - Broncos (12-4)
AFC Wild Cards - Browns (10-6), Colts (10-6)
NFC East Champs - Redskins (11-5)
NFC North Champs - Packers (12-4)
NFC South Champs - Falcons (12-4)
NFC West Champs - 49ers (12-4)
NFC wild cards - Saints (11-5), Lions (11-5)
AFC Champion - Patriots over Broncos
NFC Champion - Lions (YUP!) over 49ers
Coach of the Year - Andy Reid, of all people
MVP - RGIII (Eat it, Stevie)
Offensive ROY - Eddie Lacy
Defensive ROY - Barkevious Mingo ( picking him mostly on name alone)

Teams that make a big jump: Lions (in the Super Bowl!), Saints, Browns
Teams that take a step back : Ravens (outta the playoffs!), Seahawks, Jets (Rex’ll be gone by week 8.)

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MBTA Releases HORRIBLE New Safety Music Video: “The Safety Bounce” [VIDEO]

Our public transportation system here in Boston (The MBTA) is corrupt, bankrupt, & terribly inefficient; so instead of putting money towards fixing those problems, they made this hot mess of a safety video instead, because OF COURSE THEY DID.

The money that was spent putting this together would’ve been better put towards bringing back the Night Owl, wouldn’t it?

 

 

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Simon Pegg & Nick Frost Cover Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky”

I still haven’t seen The World’s End, but I’ll rectify that ASAP. Got a chance to meet them a few weeks ago, and they were both really nice. But they’re British, so that’s to be expected, right?

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What I’m Listening To: The End Of August 2013

New stuff from Belle & Sebastian and Franz Ferdinand, along with some more hip-hop than usual.

This playlist has the new Deltron 3030 in it (which isn’t as great as I’d hoped it be, to be honest – but it’s still better than 95% of other hip-hop right now.) plus the new Avett Brothers single and some Willy Mason, too!

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Well, This Is Perfect

Seriously. Taco nailed it, you guys.

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Stereotypes: Pickup Basketball

“BANANA SWIRL!”

This is why I just like to go shoot hook shots for 20 minutes by myself.

 

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What I’m Listening To: The 2nd Week Of August 2013

New MGMT, plus some new-to-me tracks from The National, Youth Lagoon, Jake Bugg, Phoenix and Brick + Mortar.

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Mormon Missionaries Rope-A-Dope Some Locals During A Hoop Game

… and this is now my favorite thing ever. Dat Faith. The dude in the blue shorts running around after the dunks happen slays me.

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Adventures At Boston Comic-Con! [PHOTOS & VINES!]

I went down to the Seaport World Trade Center for Boston Comic-Con this weekend. We talked to loads of nerds, dorks, geeks and dweebs! Here’s some photos and videos (in the form of vines) that we shot on their exploits.

Listen to the interviews and the quizzes here:

Boston Comic-Con Recap: “Do They Still Live With Their Parents?”

Boston Comic-Con Recap: “Are You Still a Virgin?”

Boston Comic-Con Recap: “Are They a Virgin?” – Round #2! 

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What I’m Listening To: 4th Week Of July & 1st Week Of August

Whoops. Forgot to post last week’s playlist, so here you go. It was a good one, too. I really like Crystal Stilts, and The Districts is a bunch of kids still in high school! That Papa song is great, too.

As far as this week, I’m trying to let the new RJD2 grow on me, but I’m a big fan of fellow Vineyarders Family Of The Year and that Boots Electric record.

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Well, I’m No Longer Hungry. [Porn Sex Vs. Real Sex… Using Food For Visual Aids)

I think it was the celery scissoring that got me.

MY-WHOLE-BRAIN-IS-CRYINGMY-WHOLE-BRAIN-IS-CRYING

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True Facts About The Owl

My wife loves owls. They’re actually giving giraffes a run for their money in terms of her affection lately. (Seriously, she’s brought home 4 ceramic owl figurines in the past two months alone.) Me? They scare the bejeezus out of me. These fuckers are airborne velociraptors with built-in sonar. Sure, they’re cute as babies, but they quickly turn into  winged harbingers of doom.

Watch the video, though. It’s pretty funny.

 

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This Is Freakin’ Genius: No More Peanut Butter Knuckles!

Get these guys a damn Nobel Peace Prize!

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Well, This Is Incredibly Disturbing: Scientifically Accurate DuckTales (NSFW)

Childhood = RUINED.

Christ.

I’m sorry.

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What I’m Listening To This Week: 3rd Week Of July 2013 + DELTRON’S BACK!

HOLD UP. BIG NEWS! NEW DELTRON 3030!

Plus, an album’s on the way, people! I might’ve just squealed in excitement (and yeah, maybe I peed a little.) It’s like I’m back under Downtown Evan Brown’s bunk on Comm Ave listening to WinAMP.

Here’s a youtube version –

Also, here’s this week’s RDIO playlist, featuring new Pearl Jam, New St. Lucia, and more.

 

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Paul Pierce Is Thanking Boston On Instagram

Pierce

It just got awfully dusty in here, all of a sudden. Dammit. I’m going to miss him.

He’s posting a ton of awesome pics. Check them out here.

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…And This Is How You Handle Being Heckled.

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Here’s The The Cosby Show/”Blurred Lines” Mashup You Didn’t Know You Needed

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