STRIPPERS FOR A BACHELOR PARTY: EAT OUT OR DELIVERY?

 Wow, that title comes off SO much dirtier than I intended.

Stevie and I saw Transformers 2 yesterday (Quick review: IT SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!) out at the Showcase Cinemas in Revere, and after the movie (SO BAD.  Even the copious amount of scenes where Megan Fox runs in slo-mo couldn’t save it), we headed over to The Squire to scout out potential destinations for drunken shenanigans for my brother Robb’s bachelor party. You haven’t lived until you hit a strip club in Revere on a random Tuesday at 3pm. Looking at some of the slack-jawed jamokes ogglin’ The Squire’s B-Squad makes you feel SO much better about your own life.     

 Anyways, my brother’s getting married in September, and we’re planning his bachelor party for Saturday July 18th, to get it out of the way so nobody gets arrested the night before or ends up in a fight or whatever and mucks up the wedding. We’re planning on making it an all-day affair, with a limo trip to a gun range up in NH to fire off some automatic rifle rounds during the day (I’m pretty sure there’s no cool gun ranges in Mass due to the gun laws, where as in NH you fire a BELT FED MACHINE GUN, which is just all sorts of awesome), then heading back to Boston for dinner at Grille 23 or someplace like that. Then we’re going to ditch my dad and his son-to-be father in law, and head out for some boozing.

But we’ve hit a bit of a dilemma, and I don’t know how to proceed.

The real question I have is, of course, about strippers. There’s some debate over whether we should just go out to a strip club, or get a suite at the Colonade or some other hotel and get a couple of strippers to come to us. If we go the hotel route, we eliminate the door charge at a strip club + the chance of other drunks messing up our evening, but we also run the risk of drawing two horsefaces with Cesarean scars, as I’m pretty sure there’s no way to insure two hotties with bisexual tendencies end up knocking on your door. So it’s really a three part question:
 
1) Does anybody know any good gun ranges in Eastern MA or Southern NH?
 
2) Which should we do: fieldtrip to Centerfolds or the Slipper or do we go the hotel/stripper call-in route?
 
3) If we do the hotel thing, should I be looking up some sluts on Craigslist, the Phoenix personals or some other source?

What do you think, twatwaffles? Anybody got any advice for your fearless-except-when-it-comes-to-huge-bees leader?  Leave your suggestions in the comments!